MOVED.

OFFICIALLY MOVED.
INSERTLOVE.ONSUGAR.COM

The clock said 12.48am

I never felt so hurt,lost,guilty.
I tossed and turned on bed for an hour.
I never cry so hard and long,
trying to cover myself with pillow to soften my sobs
but just when I finally stop myself,
& wished that tomorrow will be better.
The message I dread the most came
I just burst into tears without knowing.
Cause I just can't take it anymore,no matter how much I tried to.
Do you know how much effort I tried?
Do you know how much will I finally decided to do that?
Do you know how much I don't wish to do that?
Do you know that not only you're hurt,but me too?
Do you know that,even if I could,I don't want to.
I don't feel better either.
I know how much it hurt when someone you like don't like you.
I know how much it hurt when you're given false hopes,
I just don't wish to hurt you that badly. .
But,I guessed I did.
I seriously don't wish to hurt you like how I did to him.
All of a sudden, I felt I was a murderer.
For killing you,you,you,you.
I know no matter what I said now was meaningless.
No matter how much sorry I said was meaningless.
No matter what I do now will be meaningless.
All I wanted now was to get free from here,
get free from everything.
I don't wish to let all this shits that piled affect my mood,
but it just did.
It is fuckingly sickening when not only one problem affect you,
but multiples.
ALL.IN.A.TIME
Attacking me one after another,
no matter how much I wanted to avoid.
TELL ME,how can I still remain yet so strong?
Human and human relationship are alway confusing.
All the things that happened,beside this.
_ & _ made me felt weak over,
left me hopeless and helpless.
Make me feel like giving up on everything.
Make me feel like running and escaping from all this.
It made me sick really.
Now,not only you suffered,but me too.
Ain't you happy?

Last paper tomorrow,wish me luck.
Bye world.

Sometimes,truth is just so cruel.

Why is this feeling so famaliar?

On Hiatus.
I won't be blogging here anymore.
This shall be my last post here.
All the rest will be locked up somewhere from people.
I need time to recover,
need time to heal,
need time to get me running,
need time to be back to where I am,
need time to make me stronger,
need time to let everything go.
Because this time round,
I'm really want to forget everything

What are tears,
Something to show that you're hurted.
Tell me,what to do to stop them.
Tell me.

A huge stone

Blasting music from Mp3,running with the cool evening breeze.
It calm my mind,drop the heavy stone in my heart.
Something is bothering me,I felt suffocated.
But yet, I don't know what.
I need fresh air to breathe.

Haven been revising for Chem+Phy MCQS,
finger crossed* and prayed that I'll score tomorrow^^

& Friday will be a long dayyyyyyy,
will be busy right from morning to night.
Can't waitttttttt(!),new experience:D

TungLok

Tunglok on 17Nov,can't wait(!)(!).
LAST PAPER TOMORROW,Sci MCQ.
Will be busy on thur+fri:X
Secret,teehee(;
Yesterday was the last tuition class,.
awwwww,gonna miss sitting with
Mx2+R+A.( CHEM )
K+Y ( PHY )
Y+R+A( ENG )
Sx2+A ( Amath ).
Rawrrrrrrrrr.
OUT LATERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.
:DDDDD
TATA.

WTF.OHMYGOD.FUCKING SHOCKED.OHMYGOD.TOTALLY.LIKE SG IS SO FRIGGINGLY SMALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL.HOWWWWWWW POSSSIBLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. OHMYGODDDDDDDDDD. CREEPYYYYYYYYYY,TOTALLLLY.

Here comes C.

How amazing my life become,Total Drama that my 'meimei' is anticipating,
& never fail to ask me about next steps.
but sorry to disappoint all,neither am i with A or B or C or D or even E.
so yeahhhhhhh,I'm feeling guilty x123456789 right now.
but I can't do anythinggggggggggg,seriously,sorry.
I may sound like a tota bitch,but yeah.
sorry,seriously sorry to A/B/C/D/E.
Truthfully wish that all of your will be able to find someone way better:D
but we can still be friend(;.
sorry):

xoxo,clarissa

RedCamp-Vikings

How about you? (;
Still deciding to go or not to go.
See whether alot people going viking a not.
hope bbei+karen+pyyy is viking(!)(!).
Anyway,it is a bore right now.
I just finished 2 ep of Momolove.
& i headed to vivo ytdddddddd,wooo.
will be going there again after sumyatauntie come back from Myammar(!).
& ytd was so tiringgggggggggg,dead beat.
WOOOOO,HAIPAITIANXIN OUT LIAOS(!).
for yesterday+ tonight,i was sleeping+watching show the whole entire day.
H.O.R.R.I.B.L.E
haha,my mummy's going mad seeing my room.
MY WHOLE ENTIRE ROOM IS IN A GREAT MESS.
books,bag,papers were all flying around.
need to clean up asap(!)(!)

x

All in a whirl.
Don't.wish.to.carry.on.anymore.
But,no 'quiting'.

Poa

Poa was amaingly kind of easy,way easier than prelim. Hope that I can get A(;
Anyway,today marks the end of the paper,left sci MCQ on 11nov.
But it seems like the last already,party mode*.
OUT TOMORROW,i miss shopping malls.
Ages since I last hit any.
& Yesterday I finally went the new kopitiam in jp,
I know,friggingly slowwwwwwwwwww.
Me love the transparent chair there(!)
rah,& I have lost touch of Jp that I didn't know ANCHOR has open(!).
alright,now I kinda miss the last 10 mugging days,
those crazy days.
& I TRIED SHARK TODAY.
A change from my usual RedBull.
& GUESS WHAT,It taste HORRIBLY SWEET(!)(!)
Totally sick of it right nowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.
Rawrrrr,btw,I'M MISSING SUMYATTY+BBEI+LEEKAREN.
):

P/S: I didn't know so many people is stalking my blog(!).
MUST TAG ME OKAY.(;

What exactly am I after

I never felt so regret.
The moment I turned the paper to the last page,my blood went cold.
No Venice,No healthcare.
How shitty can that be.
Rawrrrrrrrrrrr,totally disappointment canzxzzzzz.
damn,at least I know a tiny winy teeny lil bit of globalisation or else watch me die.
I was totally writing crap las pleasezxzzzzzzz,damn screwed.
on a happier note,chem was way easier except the part they asked molecularmass definition-.-
2 marks goneee,-.-

anyway,my life is in a whirl right now.
everything's so complicated.
It was A at first then came B.
DEN C and D came.
ohmygod,kill me pleasezxzzzz.
felt damn bad+guilty.
is haunting me like seriously damn bad.
especially during this critical period(!)(!).
anyway,have settle with A and B.
now with C and D.
okay,worst,I KNOWWW.
alright,am off nowwwwwww.

I don't wish things to end up this way.
I don't mean it.
I just don't wish to lift you high up and drop you down,
cause I know how terrible it feels inside,
especially when you carry such high hopes.
Sorry.

It was yesterday then I realise,
I was being replaced.
I woke up to reality.
It was impossible,
each and every time I was just finding excuses to escape from reality.
To escape from the ugly truth.

Amath

Amath at 2.30pm.
(watch me die,gg)
new phone after 11nov.
mummy promiseeeeeeeeeee.^^

Didn't wish to lie to you.
Didn't wish to hide the truth.
Just don't want you to give you false hope
& the hopes shattered by me
Sorry.

Tomorrow

What's it like when the Major O is tomorrow,and all you feel like doing now is to daydream about what to do after O. ( die )
& Worst,my paper start at like 2.30pm tomorrow,& p2 at 4+. ( die )
need my red bull dose tomorrow,redbull give me wings(;
& I KNOW IT IS NOT GOOD FOR HEALTH,alot people have been telling me thatttttt.
I knowwwwwww,but if i don't drink i'm so gonna sleep like what happen to mock okay.
english paper tomorrow,hope useful phrases flow out of my mind like tap water. ( AHAHAH )
& 1 word question please don't be those very hard kind like Humility,Perseverance.
( BETTER DON'T COME OUT,or else watch me die ).
alright,see me after 11nov.
( CAN'T FUCKING WAIT PLEASE ).

-

Hope and faith are disappearing.
will reply tags asap after Os.

First O lvl paper today-Sci Prac.

Time to get stronger(;

16October

It wasn't any important day that is worth remembering,but it's now.
16October2009,the class of 4e1'09 graduated.
-
The very first day I stepped into this school,
I hated myself for being there,
hated myself for going to this school.
Everyone around me,
the school compounds,teachers,
everything were a total stranger.
I felt lost,I never at that moment,I'll not like this school.
True to say,the entire school was filled with CAL,CAB.
But what can I do?
No matter how helpless,hopeless it was.
I need to stay there for the next 4 years.
I was in 1e1'06,we were totally stranger.
Till I met real friends.'
Marzie+bbei+leeke. . .
With so many people from different races,
we didn't bond much.
we didn't step out of our comfort zone.
& together we moved to sec1e1 to sec2e1 without much changes.
Slowly,we became the Jyss first biggest class,47 of us.
From different country and races.
& we oftened created lots of problems for teacher.
we oftended get scolded and was the worst express ever.
Slowly,we got bonded.
Some of 3e1 people separate and left to other class,
but the remaining 37 of us,fight together and went to 4e1'09.
& we got really close when
we prepared the Sec1 camp,
we have thought it'll be a failure,
but everyone of us,worked hard,to prepare for everything.
We cried,we fighted,all of us standed close together.\
Oftenly,we fighted,complained about each other,
but eventually,we forgive and forget.
At times,though we felt like giving up,
we stood close to one another and end the journey together.
& that's when 4e1 came close as one.
Our relationship really bonded after every single PE lesson.
Not forgetting, we danced Wondergirls during Teachers' days.
People might cast negative comment about us,
but what we know was,we're the best,we tried the best.
No matter how negative comments were,we believe that was our best effort.
Looking back at the days in Juying,I'll definitely miss it.
-
I never thought I'll love this school this much,never.
I can't wait to get out of here.
But now, I missed everyone of 4e1 people like crazy.
We were so close,but we need to carry on to the next chapter of our life.
From stranger,to classmate,to friend,to even closest friend,& the extra-ordinary class.
-
I love all of you,
esp,SU.
Mummyy,I'm sure I'll miss you like crazy.
& please contact me after you come back from Myammar okayyyy.
Don't forget our date(!)(!)/
Bbeiiiiiiii,
I still haven pass you your carddddd,so sorry):
Will difinitely stay in contact with ya kaeeeeeeeeeeeee.
LEEKEE,
Must remember ask me out okayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy:D
Marzieeeee,
Zanis's daughter! Will miss calling you thattt.
More stuudying datee:D
Gavinnn,
Thanks for helping me all this whilee,
esp the tie that day & your sweets:D
LSJ,
I'll miss sitting beside you during POAAA,
can't snatch your paper anymore):
Shahid,
I'll miss zipping open your bag,
your voice when you sing,
& funny actions of yours.
Jia-Bi-Oh,
Shahid's gffffffffffff.
No matter how much we disturb you,
you never angry de luhhhh.
YOUKKEUN,
I'll misssssssssss your stupid yet funny faceeee.
Don't go korea until don't come back okayyyy.
We still neeed to disturb sumyat moreee(!)(!).
CAI MEIMEI.
PLEASE STOP DROOLING AT OTHER GIRLS:X
hohoho,must work hard on cheena ehhhhhh.(!)

& everyone of you.
Thankyou so much.
For making the 4years in Juying so memorable.
MissNurul,
I'LL MISS YOUR LESSON,
pee+pameo(!)
MissWong,
thank for clearing my doubts!
even when i'm asking some really stupid qns.
MrTeo,
Will miss your phy lessonnnnnn,awww.
MrLau,
WILL MISS waving like mad to youu.
Now no more people waving like mad to you alreadyyy):
MrsHon,
will missssss your ENGLISH LESSONNNNN(!)
( HOPE YOU WON'T MY BLOG & READ THIS :X )
& all the teachers that have taught me.
THANKYOU:D

Took like 50+ pics today,
will upload soon.
I slept at like 11+ ytd after rushing the cards):
& SORRY GPYJ.
I promised to wish you birthday exactly at 12.
But,I fall asleep already-.-
Rah,sorry eh.
HOPE YOU LOVEEEE THE PRESENT,hahha!.

Alright,off now.
EXACTLY 10MOREDAYS TO 'O' LEVEL.
ARE YOU READY?

Once stranger

We were like strangers,
but as years past,we bonded together as a class.
We might be the worst 4E,the most problematic class,
but we grew as one.
Now it is time for us to separate,
to get along with our life.
From strangers to friends to even closest classmates,
i have already fallen in love with all of you.
To be continued,GraduationDay this friday(!)(!)/
):

16 days

16 more days to kill emath/amath/geo/ss/poa/eng/chem/ss.
before it kills me.
esp amath+emath(!)(!)(!).

Mock to Mockery back to Mock

Mock everyday till numb,seriously numb pleasezxz. Sometimes the mock exam is kind of wasting time, I did a _. paper which was 2hours+ and I ended up finishing after 30mins. HOW AMAZING. & I slept 1hr+ throughtout another paper. Some of the paper have already given before already please. Rawr. Total madness. & I have the best sleep ever today(!) *wink. I EVEN DREAM PLEASEZXZ,haha!

Anyway,can't wait for everything to be overrrrrrrrrr,like pretty please): Hating the life I'm having nowwwwwww. Total madness):

Okay,shall end here now.

How did news spread that fast. Human are scary.

M

It wasn't as complicated as you think that was. But I guessed,it was hard for everyone to go along to what we wanted.
Emotional breakdown,things doesn't go what I wanted,& _. added it worst. I tried so hard to fight my tears back,but I couldn't. It was too saddening and hurting/#@$%^&*. I felt so scared and helpless. We doesn't mean to be selfish,not at all.
Thankyou KH+SU+peeps, didn't mean to let your worry for me that day. Esp KH who tried so hard to make me laugh by showing my ugly faces.& listening to my complains and shit. & How much we hate _. and doesn't wish to attend _.
We managed to have the courage to stand up for what we wanted.
ILYYYYYYYY:D

BTW,I SAW HY DANCING TODAY. PRICELESS,(!)

I can't wait to leave this school but not the people there.
Not in any order,
WITCH SU,HEEHEE,AHMINA,KAREN,JONI,& the lists goes on,everyone in 4e1.
not forgetting the boys who never failed to make the class interesting+fun.
<3

72/ Need a break badly

I'm tired and worn out. I can't wait for all this to end. Mock exam everyday is killing me. I'll find myself trying to best to stay awake when the eyelids start to drop(!). Esp today, I ended up finding myself half awake half sleeping finishing my Eng compo. & after I checked,I seriously got no idea what the shit I was writing. & I screwed up my ss mock too, the SBQ/ Got no choice but to do Venice instead of healthcare,rawr.

Then we have got clinic session,eng + poa. & headed to Sci practical at 3.30. WAS ABOUT TO GO HOME ALREADY WHEN WE'RE CALLED BACK BY MrS for Poa till 5+. HOW very wonderful. I was dead beat already can. Sit beside SJ+HJ. They very cute siaaa,lmao. I brought nothing today,ended up snatching SJ's wks,stationery,blahblahblah & even suan him till he got nothing to say. Hohohoho.& Finally we're released at 5+.

& I got tuition at 7.30pm and now I'm here blogging. Need to wake up early tml,rah. & I'm going going math remedial tml:X hohohoh.

ALRIGHT.need to catch beauty sleep now. B.A.D.L.Y

71. H.I.A.T.U.S

Away till 11nov. Exactly one more month to go. Endure(!)(!)(!). Miss me people,& to all taking O lvl,Jiayou(!) :D

Last post before 11nov. I got one more paper to go before the end of prelim2. POA): Need to get engines starting againnnnnnnnnnnnn.

Can't wait for O lvl to end,shoppingggggggggggggggggggggg. Btw,going for shopping this wed,before after O lvl:D

BYEEEEEEEEEEEE.

P/S: How unlucky it is to meet the guy you detest 2 days straight(!)(!) Ohmygod,totally down on luck pleasezxzzzzzzzz.

BadDay

It suck. Never in my whole entire life have I left so much blanks in the exam. It suck to the max when you tried to scan through your mind,hoping that you could scribble something out. But,nothing just pop out. The questions,totally stranger,or maybe lack of practise. Oh well,that's how badly I screwed my AmathP2. Sitting in the cold library for 2hours and 30mins,with heavy downpour outside and trying to squeeze every info out of my brain(!)(!)
The questions just don't make link in my brain.

On a happier note,SciP1 was pretty easy peasy(; Majority of the qns for chem was from the tys,hope I can do well for Science(!)(!)

Alright,need a break from study today. Resume back tomorrow,POA. Die also need to do well for POA P2. I screwed up P1 alreadyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy/ DANGZ.

Need.to.catch.my.beauty.sleep.now'
& dream about . . . .

P/S: AFTER I SAW _. YESTERDAY,I CAN'T STOP SMILING LIKE A RETARD.(!)(!)

FalseHopes

You lift me up to the sky,
and drop me down to the ocean.
You gave me hopes,
and dissapoint me.
Need.To.Move.On

Drawing the picture of your life

I wanted to stay positive,cheerful. But,when the reality struck you hard. Can you still remain that positive and hopeful? Everything fall back to square. The tought had yet to begin. .

When I looked around,I didn't see you anymore. You left me there feeling so helpless,so scared. I thought you would understand,but you don't. I thought you're still standing behind me like before. But not anymore. . All I could see wasn't the famaliar face of yours.

That day when you decided to let it go, I told myself not to look back anymore. That day when you stood right before my eyes again, I told myself never to believe your words anymore.

Courage

I took up so much courage.
I.N.I.T.I.A.T.I.V.E

I swear,the last week _. wen up.

120909

I just typed a chunk of words here,and now it's gone. HOW VERY NICE..NOT

It wasn't a holiday this week at all. Library became my second home wannabe. I came home everyday feeling so dead beat and worst,I need alot of catching up with Amath and Geo. Esp geo,when I opened the book, my eyes felt as heavy as the lead. HOWWWWWWW,rawr.

Anyway I got damn sick of JP Banquet already,Kopitiam or something please open up real soon.

& my blog is getting boring-er by days. Shall make it lively after O lvl:D A month more to go.

Alright,off nowwwww.

I'm scared to see the result,will everything pay off? The last lap,start running.

I swear i never seen someone as stingy as you're. What the fuck shit you think you are.

It was so tiring hoping to come true everyday but it did not. The ugly truth that was shown in front of me. Maybe,I should just stop hoping more.

The world could be so much peaceful and happier.

Time to settle down and blog. Whenever I blog here,I felt peaceful. Something here peace me down and set my mind thinking. This is the only place where I rant,complain pour my feelings out. Where I won't need to see people face or do things just to please them.

Yesterday night,I hate it that much. It actually creep me out,what'll be my fate in a few hours time. This drained me out,seriously. I need to be stronger. The devil side alway said,"Give up!" while the angel side alway said,"You sure you're going to give up now?" A great dilemma.

Anyway,today was Poa&Ss paper. Ss was pretty okay,hope my explanations part is relevant or else my marks will be gone/ Poa suck big time. Damn it. I screwed it up like !"^&*()*^$£. How wonderful indeed Clarissa.

Oh did I mention,my dark circle is now getting bigger and bigger and bigger. ):
insert sad faces*

& Oh,KH want to do Lasik(!) Me want toooooooooooooooooooooooo,yesssssss.
* v.random I know.

I can't wait for O lvl to be over soon,c.a.n.t w.a.i.t . Need to shop,seriously. IT IS SO TEMPTING TO SEEEEE NICE CLOTHES EVERYWHERE,GAHHHHHHH.#

Alright need to hit the sack now.is 12.48am right now. Which explain how those dead cells accumulate below my eyes. Horrible x123456789.

SOMETHING BEFORE I GO OFF!. Me+Su+Sj+G studying at night study yesterday.
THE DAMN V.
& i told them,
ME: One day when I'm rich and powerful,i'll conquer V and change V name.
THEY: She must be joking,LOLLLLLLLL.
ME: WTH-.- everyone is saying V-nice instead of Ven-nice.

P/s: 5moremins to 1am. HOW WONDERFUL. need to wake up at 7 tomorrow!
Tataaaaaa.

Wonder if you're in your dream now too? I don't wish t face you because I hope everything will not be this way. But the fact is,it has already turned it this way. I got no courage to face you anymore.

I was so scared I'll lost to this battle. M,I hope I won't let you down,won't make you disappointed ever again. The feeling to guilt and regret. The worst thing that suck to the max in the world.It was so horrible that I don't wish to experience it anymore.M,wait for me. Everything will be worthwhile,really.

Sometimes,I hate to see people suffering around me. The feeling is horrible,i wanted so much to help them. Old auntie,I wonder how're you right now. I wonder, is the pain still there? Are you feeling better? Are you? Next time,don't refuse my help please.

May

Stubborn and hard-hearted. Strong-willed and highly motivated. Sharp thoughts. Easily angered. Attracts others and loves attention. Deep feelings. Beautiful physically and mentally. Firm Standpoint. Needs no motivation. Easily consoled. Systematic (left brain). Loves to dream. Strong clairvoyance. Understanding. Sickness usually in the ear and neck. Good imagination. Good physical. Weak breathing. Loves literature and the arts. Loves traveling. Dislike being at home. Restless. Not having many children.Hardworking. High spirited. Spendthrift.

Nobody nobody but you¬

It was so heartening when the whole class,almost was performing.We did put in alot of efforts and the outcome I think was great(!) & the second time I felt our class so bonded even more bonded than Sec1 camp.(; LOVE ALL 4E1 peopleeeeeeeeeeee(!) & I rushed the teachers' day card on sunday,make 9 of them. :D A short update because I won't be back that soon already. Bye people.

Soon you'll be back,days have passed without you.

If only I could start running against you.

P/s: NGSM,you better go rest hor(!)(!)

Sore everywhere

Ran 2.4km yesterday,ages since I last ran.　My thighs hurt like fuck pleasezxz. ): I need to do some shopping soon,rah. Anyway,I got my chi result back already. Still thinking should retake or not. Su&MrK told me to try my luck,mummy told me not to. Should I or should I not? But I don't want to attend Chi lesson(!).

Amath tuition starting 9.30am tomorrow,have to drag myself out from the bed at 8am. Oh shytttttttt. Is 12.32 now,needa sleep soon.

Dead cells have accumulate under my eyes resulting to dark circle + eye bags. (!)(!)(!).

I don't wish to see you anymore,because I know you too well. Your words are deceiving.

Soon.

What is yours will be yours,what not yours will not and never be.
You can change things that hasn't happen,
but not things that haven happened.

Sound simple,but think again.
Can you do it?

Life's so fragil.

It was so fragil,it set me thinking. Is is all worth it? For a few hundred bux,this cause your life,your friend and getting injured. What's the use? And flashing knife around,slashing people.Don't you feel guilt-ridden? What's with human nowaday?

I just got oral on monday,still okay. Chinese result out tomorrow.cross fingers*

18moredays to go.
What if i can't get what i want?
The pain in me,the burning desire,but..something's lacking.

That day when you left without a word,I promise myself not to look back at you anymore.
I hope I was in a horrible nightmare,no matter how horrible it was,just let me wake up.
I already decided,it was not worth it. Not to shed any more tears for you.

Still down in roller coaster,let it be up soon. I need energy.

Can't wait to have ki ba bah^^

off now,need to have sleep.

The list.

Still got so many things left undone.Panickyx123456789/ Need to catch up on math+amath. Both are killing me,& I finished attacking Phy+Chem already. MYE result out already,still yet to see. Bet is filled with grade 6 or 7.School have been real tired this few days,english oral next week.& everything is comfirmed already,Chi result out next wednesday. How fast.

Alright need go off to catch some sleep.

I don't know why,the sight of you irk me off,like never before. Even breathing the same air with you seen like the worst thing ever. I don't know how things turned out to be like this,but I swear,when 3 people think so,you're definitely in the wrong. I'm surprise how those bunch of fools can stand you that much. How almost amazing. I swear. No harm losing one of you,becux you're really a pain on neck. Can't believe how much times you had stab me that hard,yet I forgive you times and times. To say the truth,I thought maybe giving in will solve things. But,I was almost wrong. Thank for telling me P,I wasn't wrong at all. It was you all along. You have become my new movtivation,never that simple. One day,you'll get your retribution,wait for it. No words can describe how bitchy,bastard you are.I tried to keep the hatred deep inside,but I realise how fucking two faced you're.

I was glad you was actually by my side that day,when I needed someone the most,a lending ear. We actually shared the same view,very heart warming when we both complained. Noone can understand how we felt,but am glad we actually agreed with each other. It was like,I felt so much better complaining to you how I felt. More heart-to-heart-talk(!)

( Part deleted )
Decided to keep that part private in my private blog.

44th birthday

Blogger's such a bitch,I can't upload any photos): Not those taken during RHD or my recent picture. Gah,bought 10bux worth of stationery today,scaryyyyyy.

Something very random,I left Metal+Speed of reaction for chemistry(!)
need to complete by tonight(!)(!)(!)
Hate metal to the core):

& I'm currently down with sore throat,omygod. Oral SOOONNN(!).
need to recover asappppppp.
& the horrible haze is back,irritating such.

& classssss meetup tml:D
wondergirl,woooooo.
i want nobody nobody but youu~

alright,OFFF NOWWWWWWW.
random post,but i like it:D

P/S: Happy birthday Singapore!
PP/S: I don't like the NDP theme song):

H.O.M.E

School celebrate SG 44th birthday today,short mini concert. Get award for ColoursAward,love HOME. & Awww,they didn't sing the song I love(!)(!) & the NDP theme song is getting more and more ... Rah. School to JP with S,SAW SOMEONE. OMFGZXZXXXXXZZZZZZZ,spoiler(!) Even S agree canzxzzzzz.

Currently: Need to catch some beauty sleep soon,dark circle are getting DARKER & BIGGER.
Need to head to CO soon,need basics.Maybe Sunday{:

My life recently have been waking up at 5+,esp since now we need to assemble at paradesquare): & I have to read books/newspaper for 30mins,my eyelids are alway as heavy as lead. Lesson till 3.30 for wed+thur. Dinner at 4+ and went back school to mug till 9pm. Dragging my feets back home,bathed and fall asleep.
6hours sleep,I still feel tired): For everyday,when I reached home,it'll be dark already.Life is currently at the down recently.

Oral in few weeks time,prepared it already. Thankzxz to mrsH&missW. :D

I don't wish to know your explanation,i don't see the point.
Stop pushing all the bloody blame on me,did you do in the first place?
It took 2 hands to clap,so what the fucking hell shit you talking?
I still don't understand & don't wish to know.
Not avoiding you,but prevent myself from blasting at you.
Don't blame me if I do that,
you thought that was okay,but you didn't know how much fucking shit you hurt me.
Don't see the reason why I got to sick and fucked up with such a _.
just want to be somewhere away from you.

I'm feeling real grumpy,even my comfort food don't cheer me up.

When the clock turned 12 tonight,it will no longer start with a 8,it will start with a 7 now.
& slowly,to 6..5..4...3...2....1,the moment everyone dread for.


BYE.
Sat-OUT.Studying
Sun-OUT.-Shopping
Mon-OUT.-Raudah'sCondo + Town.

P/S: Did I mention? 4E1 is going to audition this tues for this year teachers' day performance.
Wondergirl,woo.

Countdown on days

Hardly got a breath. The numbers of days just keep getting smaller,till it was so scary. Hate the life I'm in right now,tomorrow is 8am-9pm study time again. Can't believe how much fleas I missed out. & monthes since I last shopped. This weekend,can't wait(; Sound sinful,but I need to get something desperately!,secret* Before that, Phy tys+Chem tys+Chem Topical book before going out(; Few more chapters down on Chem,left theory qns on Phy.(;

Don't wish to be like that anymore. Don't wish to see how life turned into this.
I can't be bother with anymore,it's stopping me,while I'm going against.
The scary thoughts.

I wonder will you ever see this,
I thought you're willing to sacrifice,
but,I guess not.

Till I'm back again.

Life.

Life have been revolving with F=ma,GPE=mgh,Anti clockwise moment=Clockwise moment,V=IR,W=mg,etc & preparation for EnglishOral. The kind of life that is going till 26 Oct. This week have been Physics week,when i breathe,sleep,dream of Physics. I got a few more minutes to go before i hit the sack. O lvl Chi result out very soon,very. God bless me,please. Btw,RHD last week was a blast. 4E1'09,must cherish the time together(; Off now,Chem week next week.

It was then I realise,I was too used having you around. Suddenly,when you ain't here anymore,I started missing your presence. Yet, I don't wish to go back to the past anymore,don't wish to rely on you again. I'm getting back on my life,back to square. I love how things are right now. It made me realise,this is not _,this is just _. Time to move on.

I wonder where I'll be in the next 10years time.

Will update soon people.

cccccc

School>L>Bbk>Darling

School today,-Amath+Emath.Went off early,headed to L.Had 2 bread for lunch,saw K,hohoho.
When K wake up,the face damn funny pleasezxz.X123456789 G.O.N.G. Hope to see K tml again,:D Btw,I saw S+H+G. Super coincidence can. Went Bbk to somewhere called Darling to get my new love,love you mummy^^. Finished 2 books today,Confession of Teenage Nanny is niceeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. Read twice already(!).

Currently: Waiting for erzi's msg,you better see this(!).

I feel like eating a nice bowl of hot maggie right now,.+ milo + milkcracker + breads.

I wished Sun will appear soon,so that I'll see hope again.

Will be out tml,to avoid the MW.

BYE all.^^

The noise that ring repeatly in my mind,the hatred that I tried to hide,just so to avoid.
To show,I'll be better off.

Thoughts

The thoughts of it indeed frighten me,especially when numbers are insert in. I was almost in a whirl on that faithful day,when i discovered so much thing. The 30mins bus ride,when i tried to squeeze everything inside,when motivation gushed within me. And,the other day. The scene just repeatly appear in my mind which acts as a warning to me. Weehours in morning and nights are times when i really like in my life right now.When i can reflect and think and stare at the four corners in my room.Everything is just so intense now. Imagine from a X to another X,how very motivating...NOT.

I don't know why i care that much. It was then i realise,I put in everything I wanted to. And,you didn't even realise it at all. It was then i decided,to give up. It was so tiring and whatever I did,you just got the comment of it.

Capital R and H,and get rid of capital P.

Anyway,back to some funny stuff. Show S a picture.
( CAN'T POST ON BLOG T.T , blogger problem )
& HE DAMN SHY PLEASEZXZZZZZz.
laughmyassoff.
ANYWAY,thanks for telling me to work harder and don't think about SPE1 already.
:D
you too,work hardddd.

BYE ALL.

Chio or whatttttttttttttttttttttt.

Heels that kill

I swear wearing heels to Orchard is crazy,really.
hurt me like !@#$%^&*())_ pleasezxzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
me+bbei ate frigging lot today,s.c.a.r.y
we had breadtalk,luv the cheeeseeeeeeeeee(!)
had KFC for lunch,didnt know inside FEP got nicher food-.-
had milktea before heading home.
met her at 11am,told her i'll be at bustop.
instead i went to her blk to find her,rah.
SHE WORE COVERED CLOTHES TODAY,
long sleeve to tights-.- mad or what,lol
& her mummy waved to me like W.O.W,lmaos.
get bus concession,trained to Orchard.
went Wisma firsttttt,wanted to get F21 necklace,
& BBEI gave me that 'look'-.-
was damn hungry when we reached,
cause i didn't eat breakkieeee,
went to BT to get breads,intro her to the yummyilicious bread.
cheeeseeeeeee,if only KFC cheesefries is that cheese,rah.
went FEP after that,we actually get kind of losttttttt.
reacheddddddddddddddddddddddddd.
deciding whether to eat at Shinlin/Mogumogu/Graffiti cafe/KFC/subway.
ended up we went KFC.
think first time this year i step inside KFC luhs,
& first time after 2 years eating Zinger.
I KNOW FUCKINGLY EXAGGERATING,BUT TRUE CAN.
saw someone eating someone who never eat her agessssssss.
s.c.a.r.y
headed back to FEP after eating.
COMBED THE WHOLE PLACE FINDING THAT STOP THAT SELL
HAIRBAND BUT IN VAIN):
sad pleasezxzzzzzzz.
wanted to get at least hairband or new shoes.
but saw noneeeeeee):
got new shirt instead,nowaday i'm crazy over grey+lace,:D
will go FEP SOOOOOONNNNNNNN,
me+bbei want to try food at the 4th floor,lmao.
homed after that,
i swear by that time my legs already hurt like a bitch already):
got Sweettalk before heading home.
i wanted melon milktea,
(FYI,i alway drink weird things)
i told the person i want melon MT,
& SHE LOOK AT ME LIKE I'M SOME CRAZIE-.-
so i got plain milktea instead,wtf):
headed home,finally my legs got a restttttttttttttt:D
BBEIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII,we'll still stay in touch after Olvl.
:D
p/s: need to go cottononbody.
ALRIGHT,off nowwwwwwwwwww.




WATCH THIS,:D

WHAT WAS YOUR:
1. Last beverage: Lemonade
2. Last phone call: Bbei
3. Last text message: FlorenceL.
4. Last song you listened to: Your call
5. Last time you cried: When I read PMZX on noon.
(ENDING REALLY SUCKZXZZZZZ)

HAVE YOU EVER:
6. Dated someone twice: yes.
7. Been cheated on: no
8. Kissed someone & regretted it: no
9. Lost someone special: Yes
10. Been depressed: no
11. Been drunk and threw up: NO.

LIST THREE FAVORITE COLOURS:
12. Pink
13. Red
14. Black

THIS YEAR HAVE YOU: (2009)
15. Made a new friend: Yes
16. Fallen out of love: Yes
17. Laughed until you cried: No
18. Met someone who changed you: no
19. Found out who your true friends were: Yes
20. Found out someone was talking about you: no
21. Kissed anyone on your friend's list: no
22. How many people on your friends list do you know in real life: 123456789
23. How many kids do you want to have: 2
24. Do you have any pets: You can be my pet(;
25.Do you want to change your name: Already change
26. What did you do for your last birthday: Typical normal day
27. What time did you wake up today: 5.45am
28. What were you doing at midnight last night: daydream
29. Name something you CANNOT wait for: tomorrow
30. Last time you saw your Mother: 1 min ago
31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: Secret
32. What are you listening to right now: none
33. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: No
34. What's getting on your nerves right now: Secret
35. Most visited webpage: Tapedlove.blogspot ( LIKE REAL )
37. Nicknames: Clar? Bbei? Dear?(S LOVE CALLING ME THAT-.-)
38. Relationship Status: None
39. Zodiac sign: Gemini
40. Male or Female: Female
41. Primary School: Rulang
42. Secondary School: Juying
43. Poly/Ite/Jc/others: OTHERS
44. Hair colour: black
45. Long or short: between
46. Height: 160-163cm
47. Do you have a crush on someone: Yes.
48: What do you like about yourself: IDK
49. Piercings: 2
50. Tattoos: 0
51. Righty or lefty: lefty

FIRSTS :
52. First surgery: -
53. First piercing:kindergarden
54. First best friend: Rachel
55. First sport you joined: badminton
56. First vacation: Genting
58. First pair of trainers: none.

RIGHT NOW
59. Eating: none
60. Drinking: my saliva
61. I'm about to: thinking what is the qns next-.-
62. Listening to: NONEEEEEEEE
63. Waiting on: someone to msg me

YOUR FUTURE :
64. Want kids: 2
65. Get Married: yes
66. Career: TAITAI..LIKEREAL.

Which IS BETTER :
67. Lips or eyes: Eyes
68. Hugs or kisses: Hugs
69. Shorter or taller: Taller
70. Older or Younger:Older
71. Romantic or spontaneous:Romantic
72. Nice stomach or nice arms: Nice arms
73. Sensitive or loud: Sensitive
74. Hook-up or relationship: Relationship
75. Trouble maker or hesitant: none

HAVE YOU EVER :
76. Kissed a stranger: no
77. Drank hard liquor: no
78. Lost glasses/contacts: yes.
79. Sex on first date: no
80. Broken someone's heart: yes
82. Been arrested: no
83. Turned someone down: yes
84. Cried when someone died: yes
85. Fallen for a friend: yes

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
86. Yourself: yes.
87. Miracles: almost
88. Love at first sight: yes
89. Heaven: no.
90. Santa Claus: no.
91. Kiss on the first date: no.
92. Angels: no.


ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:
94. Had more than 1 girlfriend/boyfriend at a time: no
95. Did you sing today: yes
96. Ever cheated on somebody: no
97. If you could go back in time, how far would you go? Primary school
98. If you could pick a day from last year and relive it, what would it be? IDK

100. Posting this as 100 truths: No.


I wished to feel hope again.....

Not here anymore.

Bye
Till we meet again.
The words,feelings in my heart,noone really understand.
I felt tired,really.
I need a break,but...
Not here,just now here anymore.
You thought you understand,but you don't.
Bye tapedlove,will blog here when i'm free.
Am off to somewhere else,catch me if you can.
but I won't leak my new blog out.

First time,i broke down infront of you.
Because of GUILT&DISAPPOINTMENT.

( Taiji )

Hohohohoh,me+_. just drool at that cute guy from taiji.
NOT PEOPLE DOING TAIJI,but from taiji _.
llalaalalals,handsome shit please.
i know bbei will think i'm crazy,dont care~

Sleepy

Wanted to post pic,but i just can't(!)(!)(!)
anyway,i spent 3/4 of the day yesterday sleepingg.
i know,crazy but true.
damn tired after lacking sleeps for 5days,thanks to prelim
you can SEEE THE F.BIG eyebag right now.
(!)(!)
& yeahhhhhhh,
sorry bbeiiiiiiii.
she called me while i was sleeping today.
& i don't know her room no,
still thought who call me can-.-
& she phone me today to ask about my blogggggggggg.
AHHAHAHAHAS,i bet she got white hair now luh.
lalalala.
thankyou so much for your concern:D
^3^

I remember

do u know that i'm ok
are there things you wanna say
thinking of u night and day
hopping you'll come back and stay
i remember when u told me
i'll be all right
don't worry

i try and try to understand
is all this just a sad goodbye
thinking of u night and day
no matter if you'll come and stay
i remember when u told me
i'll be all right
just hold me

i don't wanna close my eyes tonight
missing u make me cry
your love will give me strengths to carry on
you'll always be my heart and mind
so i don't wanna close my eyes tonight
i know it's just a miss match in time...why..oh why...
miss match in time

i try and try to understand
is all this just a sad goodbye
thinking of u night and day
no matter if you'll come and stay
i remember when u told me
i'll be all right
just hold me

so i don't wanna close my eyes tonight
missing u make me cry
your love will give me strengths to carry on
you'll always be my heart and mind
so i don't wanna close my eyes tonight
i know it's just a miss match in time...why..oh why...
don't wanna close my eyes tonight.

-

I started to melt bit by bit,
i wished to make the move,
but deep down,
i fear to get disappoint by you again.
The feeling ain't great,
every glance at you just make my heart break a little more.

-

The worst night ever,
waking every 15mins,sleeping after 15mins.
No matter how hard i wished for it to held open,
it just can't keep falling.
The worst fear when the alarm just went off,
i wished that night can last longer,
yet can't wait to see the daylight,
wanted so much to text you,
but,guess you won't be there for me like how you used to.
Right at the moment,
i wanted to break into cry,
but seeing your face,
i just got to be stronger,
i don't wish to disappoint you.
I need a shoulder for me to cry on,
even when i saw the light,i don't see the hope.
Right there and then,
i wished,i wished not money in my pocket,
but a timemachine,more time.
So saddening,
when all you could do was so little,so little.
the feeling of being helpless,
the fear of falling on ground,
the fear of losing out,
the fear of lefting out behind,
my mind was in a whirl,not thrill.
whirl with fear,
i need your assurance,assuring me that i'll be alright.
i felt suffocating,
i wished you could understand.
The worst memory,that night.
it was that painful when you tried to challenge against time.

-

I wished to tell you,
like how we used to.
late at night, 9_ _ _.
late at night,
when we talked about the boys we like.
.

Screwed Amath,the moment i saw the paper,i forget everything
Screwed Chem paper,i hardly can do any qns.
Screwed Geo,i wrote my own crap in.
FML.

(Moo)

I got strawberrymilk for breakfast.
Milk tea for lunch.
Icecream for late noon.
Turning (moo) real sooon,rah.
O lvl oral,nothing much.
I need a A (!)
Left Sci paper & Amath.
Bless me.
:D

Msg.

Thankyou for that v. unexpected msg from you.
It actually bring to me that,there's still kind soul around^^
Even though it is not a few pages of msg,
it still make me feel bless.

Kill the complicated,save the innocent.

Am loving the current.
everything,just everything around me.
without your presence,i still feel secure.
i still feel alright.
I thought things will start to change to the worst,
but it didn't.
Unbelievable but true.
This time round,i'm so going prove you wrong.
(;

I won't be blogging sooon.
till like lets say,next week?
new blog in progress.
won't be leaking out my new blog link.
i need privacy,somewhere to keep my feelings,memories,
from this cruel world.
It might sound funny,
but i need a place to vent my anger,share my happiness.
A place to keep my secret.
I don't trust anyone now,i learnt my lesson.
Really sorry,but till i forget those bad memories.
It's killing me,really.

I know my title looks weird,
but yeahhhhhh.
I really have my lesson learn,
stay away from the complicated.

P/s: To that someone,i'm willing to do so if you just let me see your sincerity.
I'm willing to sacrifice for you,if i see your effort.
Because i fear to be disappointed by you all over again.
When out of the sudden,someone whom means so much to be,
broke my heart that hard,that badly.
Let's work hard together and go back to where we're once/

Pp/s: Don't say i didn't.
I did,just that you didn't sense it.
Why for fake it off?
I don't understand,what really is your real intention?
I really don't understand.
It really take 2 hands to clap,
really.

Still,deep in my heart.
I wish to have someone lending ear to hear my problem,
a shoulder that need not be strong for me to lie when i cry.
Someone who'll be there for me,need not be 24/7.
Someone who can appreciate me,
Someone who i can take out my mask when I talk to.
Someone who should _ _ _care oh-so-much about their _ _ _ _ _ _ _.
What is friendship?
What is love?

H1N1

School will not be cancel,
!@#$%^&*().
anyway,back to school yesterday for Ss+Chem.
Chem was later on cancelled):
after that,ME+BBEI+F+WF+PY headed to central.
we sit outside the bench eating maggie,wtf(!)
& i had my great strawberrymilkteaaaaa,
everyone should try:D
yeahhhhhhh,life is a bore now.
alright,off now.
rings still not yet arrive(!)
should i go ROTT this weekend?
P/s: I'll change to a private blog soon.

I refuse to put in any more hope right now.
The more i wished for,
the more disappointed i got in the end.

Special day

On this special day,
i wish to tell you.
How much you mean to me,
more than anyone else in the whole world.
protecting me since young,
giving me the best you could,
never failed to care for me.
you're the one who develop the love-in-book in me,
you let me have the freedom to let me choose the kind of book i like.
you're the one who told me bedtimes stories when young,
always making up new one so i won't get bored easily.
you're the only one who i share my friendship problem with,
when i'm young.
i appreciate everything you done for me,
even though never one thanks you.
you're the one,who always protect me when i get bullied by _.
even though at times,i might be at wrong.
but still,without fail,you stand by me.
without you,i won't be as strong as i'm today.
without you,i would have break down long ago.
even though i alway do things that make you angry/sad,
you never once scold me.
even though i failed my exam,
you'll only tell me to work harder,but never scold.
i fear one day i might lose you,
cause you're way too important to me.
Daddy,iloveyou.
i really do.
No words can describe how important you're to me.
hope you like the present i get for you.

Awesome day.

Short fringe):
Saw my title?
:D
Today is the date with Emmzack,MARZIE.
got so much to blog about(!)
first,met her at schoolstop.
wanted to go in school,but school is closed(!)
there goes my chem file,rawr.
after we reached jp,went 7-11 to get pau.
& WE SNEAKED IT IN,wooooo.
and when i started eating,she was like,'EH,JIAYING,DON'T EAT'.
haha,damn funnyy.
but after that she also started eating,lol.
after that we talked about hunks+babes<: SHE & HER PROPORTIONAL GUY,lmao. crazy girl studying harddddddd.
and she damn funny can,she smell her ARMPIT & SAY.
eh,my armpit smell nice leis,WTFFFFFFFF RIGHT.
i know your deodorant very nice las,rawr.
& she was messaging GX,wtf.
some very funny guy,ended up messaging him for a while.
& damn pms,i got cramps for the whole morning.
wtf(!) x123456789.
hurt damn badly.
& i had to go toilet several times,ignoring shit.
ME+MARZIE+KH all having pms,
& Bbei told me she having it also.
Such a coincidence righttttttt.
damn crazy please,all saved after appling my MEDICATED-OIL.
don't know why,Marzie+KeunHee+Sumyat+Florence all hate the smell.
it smell damn nice okayyyyyy,not as good as JIXIANG thou/
anyway,WE SAW KEUNHEE THERE(!)
she cut her hair wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy short. CUTE OR WHAT,:D
which i swear i'll never cut that short everrrrrrrr.
went for lunch at 1pm.
my cramps get a lil better(!)
lunch at Banquet,first time eating there.
I know,HOW CAN RIGHT.
but yeah,i alway go Kopitiam.
i alway thought Banquet food are all malay food-.-
after lunch,went pet shop.
& something friggingly funny thing happened.
there was this dog at the counter.
Marzie was infront of me,
then she was like 'GOT DOG!.' hide*
cause she cannot touch dog whatttt.
WHILE i hide behind her,
cause I FREAKINGLY SCARE OF MOVING THINGS.
WHICH INCLUDE ALL ANIMAL EXCEPT FISH^^
Some lucky dog being groomed, wish i could have it tooo. she got food for her cat.Meow~
went Watson to get her deodorant,
ended up ME+KEUNHEE keep smelling all the diff types there.
went to get sweets at Minitoon,my fave<: LASTLY,WE WENT KIDDY PALACE.
they taught me piano,& started delicating songs to meeee.
awwwwwwww,damn nice please.
tonghua+apologise etccccccccc.
Marzie promise to teach me piano after 'O'.
can't wait(!)
& i swear KeunHee+Marzie play damn nice cannnnnnnn.
ENVY*
aftermath,marzie+me headed home.
while KeunHee went back to library.
MORE DATES SOON,after my ignoring pms stop(!)
anyway,HEADED OUT YESTERDAY.
to EyeResearchCentre.
spent a crazy 3hours day waiting for mummy DOING PRACTIALLY
NOTHING.
my mum got selected to go this eye screening,
& the people are so ignoring,pestering my mum to go):
so i accompany her to go,SO NICE RIGHT.
anyway,am off now.
MARZIE IS WAITING FOR MY POST.
see hers @emmzack.blogspot.com
MISS YOU ZIEZIE.
KIAMPA.
AHAHAH.

HAIRCUT.

Bye long fringe.
I went to have a cut for my fringe.
become way shorter(!)
F accompany go cause she was suppose to have a hair treatment.
but the person not there yet so she waited for me
:D
THANKKKKKKK SOULMATE,(WTF!)
oh before that we had math remedial-.-
boring shitttttt,both of us were eating cereal+listeningsong
& she send me new themes,hohohoho.
homed after that.
B.O.R.I.N.G :O
out tomorrow,
out on sat w Blackteh(!) to study~
:D
she v super can,overslept today.
NO WONDER NEVER SEE HER(!)
alright,off nowww.
:D

Homeworks done.

Met F at jp 9.30am
but i reached jp at 9.15am.
freaking early,so went Fairprice to get cereal:Dhaven try the cookie crisp yet.
bringing to school tml,hohohs.
anyway,I FINISHED MY PHY+POA ALREADY.
:D
just a few qns don't know how to do);
not i don't want do okay:D
went Kopitiam to eat after that,full with people):
hohohohohs.
she very funny can,keep call me don't take cause she eating.
but i don't care:D
there is a ss remedial tomorrow,people must go okay.
& after ss remedial,i'm going central to cut fringe.
cannot stand it anymore,!@$%^&.
way too irritatingggggg.
anyway,THINK YOU SO CLEVER?
try guessing this,
Haha,bet you don't know.:P
even F don't know okay.
hhahahaha.
CUTE RIGHT?
(;
off now.
byebye,hohoho.

It felt so great to be back.
The feeling of joy can never be describe.
Happy to see Yb once again,miss you like crazyyyy.
:D
frigging love your pink nails.
& i know you're reading right nowww
:D
glad to know the crazy bunch of your.
tues will never be the same anymore/

Inner thoughts.

sometimes,
when it is a simple peaceful life,
people tend to see it complicated,
making it feel life is painful and hard.
if only they know how much one is suffering behind,
how much one shed tears,
how much one tolerate,
how much one showing a strong front.
they thought they're alway right,
but have they think carefully.
when they have so much doubt in their mind,
but ended up filling the blanks on their own
& jumping to conclusion.
In fact,all they need is to ask,
make things clear.
but all what they did was making things difficult.
& all this make one feel painful,sufforcating.
so you call yourself friends/family?
& you ended up pushing blames on others,
BUT,have you think carefully.
he/she might be at fault,
how about you?
letting yourself go off easily?
have you ever think carefully?
the smile that put on face might be fake.
the words that come out might be fake.
that laughter that sound might be fake.
but what for someone put a fake front?
because one is suffering inside,
trying to escape.
you think it feels great.
no,it suck to think that someone you love,cherish
doesnt know what you're thinking.
because of your dignity.
it's important,to me too.
but,what's the mouth on your face for?
after hearing each conclusion,
it pain my heart.
never ever in my life i would have thought of it.
dissapointed with a capital D.
it set me thinking,i took 3steps back.
maybe i was expecting way too much from you.
& all the hopes just tanish.
i don't blame it on you.
i just thought,how did things ended up like this.
never before.
true to say,
even my patience have a limit.
one day,when you reached that limit.
i have to say,maybe it's the best not to find you anymore.
i can see how you suffered just like me,
i tried to give in,
but only it tore my heart right into half.
i don't know what you're thinking.
if only you'll tell me.
if only you'll share with me.
but never,
so stop jumping into wrong conclusion again.
you wished i could understand you a little better,
but the true fact was,
you're never open to me.
maybe,
you're just not ready.
maybe right from the start,
i never once know what you're thinking.
what you're trying to do.
way too complicated.
and i'm not at all curious to find out,
cause one day,you'll realise.
what for make a simple things feel so complicated?
what's the use.
i chose to remain numb right at the start,
if i say my thoughts out,
it's not only hurting me but you too.
because i treat you as someone important,
i choose to keep quiet.


P/s: stop asking who i'm refering.
please stop jumping to wrong conclusion.
do you feel great when the police accuse you for stealing
when you're not?
when the teacher accuse you for cheating
when you're not?
when your closest friend accuse you for betraying
when you're not?
TELL ME,HOW YOU FEEL.

Addictivezxzzzz.

Because I'm Stupid is niceee,i swear.

Because Im Stupid - StillNotDavid

LYRICS :

VERSE 1:
Because I'm so stupid and such a fool
My eyes don't see nobody but you
Even though I know you love someone else
You could never know the pain that I felt
Oh oh oh

VERSE 2:
You probably never think of me at all
And I know we have no memories
But the one who really wants you is me
In the end only my tears will fall

BRIDGE 1:
I stay, you walk away
I stand back, watching you day by day
You can't see that I'm so in love with you
Like the wind you just fly right through (ohhhhh)

CHORUS 1 :
There are days when I just miss you so much
There are days when I just long for your touch
"I love you" somehow flies right off my lips and so
Once again I'm left crying for you
Once again I'm left here missing you
Baby I love you I'm waiting for you

VERSE 3:
You'll probably never have a dream of me
And I know I'm in love all alone
That's why we don't really have memories
In the end, I'll make them all on my own

BRIDGE 2:
Love's like a river of tears
That will flow whenever you're not here
Even though your heart will never be mine
It's enough just seeing you smile

CHORUS 2:
There are days when I see nothing but rain
There are days when I just feel so much pain
"I miss you" somehow flies right off my lips and so
Once again I'm left wishing for you
Once again I'm left here missing you
Baby I love you I'm waiting for you

VERSE 4:
Bye, bye, never say goodbye
Even though it's not me by your side
I need you , I just can't say it but I want you
I cannot stop wishing for you

CHORUS 3:
There are days when I just miss you so much
There are days when I just long for your touch
"I love you" somehow flies right off my lips and so
Once again I'm left crying for you
There are days when I see nothing but rain
There are days when I just feel so much pain
"I miss you" somehow flies right off my lips and so
Once again I'm left wishing for you
Once again I'm left here missing you
Baby I love you I'm waiting for you

:DD
i left 8 qns of poa to go.
am i genius or what.
AHAHAHAHAH(!)
finished 1set of phy already.
left 2 more to go(!)(!)
out tomorrow to studyyyy.
need to sneak food from 7-11 in,hohohohs.
BYE.
(;

boring shit day.
paid for my ring already.
hope it arrive asap.
i feel hungry.
had tempuramaki+maki for dinner.
bye.

it takes two hands to clap.

am f.hungry.

boring shit day.
paid for my ring already.
hope it arrive asap.
i feel hungry.
had tempuramaki+maki for dinner.
bye.

it takes two hands to clap.

Weirdest dream

I got no idea why everytime i got such weird dream.
first was the nightmare,i was attempting to commitsuidice.
& when i woke up i was almost late for school,
when sumyat thought i wasn't comming for school.
& yesterday,i dreamt again.
of something freakingly funnnnnny.
i dream of shading some lottery sheetz at overseas with 4e1 people.
& THE SHEETZ is freakingly funny.
and when i told bbei about it,
she told me to design it in Sg.
Rah,v.random.

Anyway,guess what i did today.
Spent my noon play pokemon on my phone.
ADDICTIVEZXZZZZ.
must stop myself somehowwwwwww.
& START DOING PHYSICS SHIT.
got 3 worksheets and not even 1 is done yet.
freaked me outtttttttttttt pleasezxzzzzzz.

Right now,
i hope prelim1 will end quickly.
i'm desperate to head out.
I KNOW I KNOW,I SHOUDLN'T
i want go picnic at botaniccccc with bbeiiiiiii):

Can't wait to go out tomorrow.
('.')
miss bbei.

off nowwwwwwwww.
:D

:D
IMISSBBEI.
SEEYOU ON SUN(!)(!)

p/s: I GOT MY LORMEE TODAY.
now i feel like having Mos):

12.31am

Wanted to stay longer,
but Marziemum+Blackteh called me to sleep.
like my mother canzxzzzzzz,lmao.
Told her alot of craps in msn,
me+the catz.
MUAHAHAHHAHAHA.
don't tell anyone hor,or else everyone scare of me:X
ANYWAY.
FORGOT TO MENTION.
NO TEDDYBEAR FOR ME TONIGHT.
i washed it in the morning.
& thought that
HOW CAN A WASHING MACHINE BE THAT HARD TO
OPERATE.
ESP WHEN I'M CLARISSACHUA.
so i on it.
& got SHOCK when i see water comming out.
i wanted to dry wash my bear.
ENDED UP WATER COME OUT.
* Insert Wennie's JawDrop Action *
totally shock canzxz.
& i finally give up.
I swear washing machine very hard to use canzxzzzzzz.
& i know you're laughing right now,
don't know how to use next time how to marry right.
I CAN FIND A HUSBAND WHO KNOW HOW TO USE OKAY-.-
blah.
ANYWAY,am offf now.
Or else MMUM will nag at me again-.-
BYE.

p/s: I FEEL LIKE EATING LORMEE+ICECREAM+CHICKENPORRIDGE
+PONTIANMEE+BANMIAM+POPIAH+LAKSA+FISH&CHIP
+MOSBURGER.
AH.SHIT.

Busy like a bee.

I felt so guilty,
after hearing that Py did 2wks of poa,
WHEN I HAVEN EVEN TOUCH ANY.
wonderful,so i rushed it over the noon today.
out of 30 qns,i managed to complete 12.
18 more to go(!)(!)
& THE 18 MORE IS FRIGGINGLY HARD OKAY.
you think as easy as abc ah,rawr.
FURTHERMORE,i still got phy& geo left untouch.(!)(!)
wonderful,wonderful.
what a nice holiday. T.T

Anyway,whole of this week,
i have been receiving WEIRD msg practically every single day.
Firstly,got one msg and say, Ni hao mah,ni zai na li.
wtf,i was having bad mood.
so i replied,Hen hao de,ni msg wo jiu bu hao.
lol(!).
Secondly,there is this opening of clinic?
msg me to attend their opening,when i fringingly never go that clinic before?
Thirdly,someone who is selling specs-.-
Creepy ehhhhhhh-.-

& tml i'll be out.
O.U.T
so i wont be blogging tml.
:D
& i have decided to get 2 new rings,(;
silverwing+goldwing.

Am going off nowwwwwwwwwwwwww.
(;
Amazing Marzie KNOW WHAT I'm TYPING(!)(!)
:D

BYE.

At least i know right now.
Where i'm.

蔡佳颖，时间不会为你而停留。
要勇敢。
心情非常的不好。

Freaking funny

Someone talked to me in msn,
& i wondered who the hell he/she was.
ended up is wennieee,
she's angry cause i don't know who's she.
don't angry las lianrongpao,
school reopen i buy lianrongpao for you kae? (;

Anyway,i slept at 2+am.
awaesome.
i need to order new shirt,
can't resist the temptation,damnnnnn.
Should I or should I notttttt.
or go ROTT get clothes?
Rah.

I guess i don't really care.

What am i thinking

It is 11.55pm right now.
& i'm still here.
Still awake,far from sleepy.
my sleeping time have turned haywire.
waking at wee hours & ended up sleeping at the noon.
something worth mentioning,
I FINALLY know how to do A,B&S.
wtf,satisfied anottttttttttttt<;
ANYWAY,
I AM SO GOING ROTT(;
shut up if you don't know what is ROTT;P
It's officially 12am now.
Off now.
not sleeping,cause i don't feel like to.
& i got the best dream yesterday ever.
i hope it'll come true,but kid who.
It won't.
Bye.

I dreaded the thought of it.
Whenever i close my eyes,
images of it started to appear,
without fail,
trying to hard to get use,
but i just can't.
trying so hard to forget,
true enough,
you're playing another game of hide&seek again.
It just can't stop but flow out yet,again.

Rawr.

Internet speed+Weather suck big time.
wtf can.

Happy Birthday Mummyyy♥

Today is 6June,which is Mummy birthday(!)
& also Bbei's Kim Hyun Joong birthday:D
KimBum more handsome luh;X
the moment he smile can melt you canzxzzzzzzzz.
Rah,anyway.
Went out at 11 today.
Bluff mummy that I'm going school,wth i know-.-
hahahas,went to the mend shoe stand.
waited for bbei shoe to be repair-.-
& FREAKINGLY GUESS WHAT.
i saw that guy againnnnn,lucky or what.
bbei so called 'young' & 'handsome' one.
PLEASEZXZZZZ,disgusting-.-
i feel like digging his eyes out las.
& bbei give me stupid ideas on how to deal with him-.-
went Jp after that,blahblah.
v. boringggg.
i saw alot pretty shoe+bags,tempted*
went to have lunch.
waited for gorgor to come finddd meeeee,
went library instead-.-
went to Jp after gorgor finish work.
went to swesens & get blackforest cake;D
went homeee.
LOLS,boring,i knowwwww-.-
slept for 1hr+.
went to meet Bbei at 7-11 for cheap thrill:D
i got MrHappy+MrBump+MrGreedy+LittleMissChatterbox.
bbei say chatterbox suit me,rah-.-
I want Tiny+Strong+Sunshine-.-
rah,off to eat cake now.
Bye.

When you get a step nearer,
i got a step back.
When i get a step forward,
you stay there and pretended.
What is this.
If only you know what i wanted in the first place.

Happy children

Don't you just love the picture at the top?
Happy faces never failed to make me smile ^^

Yet so much (♥)

(♥) you all people,
for the presents+wishes.
not in any order,
AuntieminaBbei,Andersonsister,SumyatAuntie,FlorenceElephant,
Peiyingzehzeh,Huishengzehzeh,Wennie,Wanfeimeimei,
Mazidayu,Fengheng,H.Junwei,Q.Junwei,Atifah,
Gorgors,Cassandrameimei,Kaixuan,Minhui,Zanis's Daughter
Bbei for your lp,Sumyat+F+C for your IcingRmCake,
Py for your zebrapouch,hs for your charm,
2nd gorgor for your magicegggyy,1st gorgor for your choco.
mummy for your cake,fh for your cake+mos
minhui for your shirt,
Zanis's daughter for your (♥) msg! @ emmzack.blogspot.com
(♥) you all,x123456789.
1 year older,time to be more mature and work towards my goal<: had Chi O yesterday, hope can get A,pleasezxzzzzzzzz.
had Math Olympial today,
boring shit,wanted to sleep can.
cause i freakingly don't know how to do
& lazy to kill my brain cells for this.
(!)(!)
WENT TO 907 FOR LUNCH:D
me(♥).
hohohos.
Bbei+Auntiemyat+Elephant+Joni+Wennie+Peiying+Huisheng
:D
too sad wanfei+keunheee not here):
AM OFF TO WATCH BOF NOW.
few more parts onlyyyyyyyyyyyy.
:DDDD
BYE.

/edit.
sometimes i really think,
is this really worth it.
now i think back.
as foolish as ever.
as naive as ever.
time to wake.
time to start running.
so not worth it.
time to wake to reality.
thought you're important,
but not anymore.
like a stain which i wish to erase.

Someday i wish,
i could do something,
just a little of something.
Something sweet.

P/s: I finished BOF already(;
PP/S: Anyone got Candles-Hey Monday
& Climb-Miley Cyrus ,please do a kind deed& send me.
(;

Definitely a day worth remembering.

31May,once a year.
When I get a year older.
receiving wishes from all my loves.
(♥) you all.
Out soon.
Can't wait to see Batwoman.
hehe ^^
Tml O lvl chinese,
Good luck all.
:D
Mummy,i swear you surprise me x123456789.
LUV YOU<:

This year,i got 3 birthday wishes.
Wishes ain't meant to be say out.
:P
Will post again tml.
Wish me good luck for O lvl chi.

i don't wish to disappoint you.
don't wish.

Sometimes,i tried to pretend.

I guess i'm quite crazy nowaday,
imagine waking up at wee hours just to watch BOF.
crazy or what,haha.
I started this routine on tue(!)
& guessed what,by the time i'm doing NHSS paper2,
i freakingly wanted to give up & sleep.
cause i felt so tired+ NHSS is hard pleasezxz,chimkawabeisi you know(!)
so i think i half closed eyes to finish the whole paper:X
wanted to wake on wed but I forgot to set alarm(!)(!)
so today I DID WAKE UP EARLY TO WATCH(!)
satisfied:D
today paper is hardddddd,esp passage2.
i half closed eyes to finish.
& finish like 30mins early,wtf(!)
P1 i almost no time can,P2 so much times-.-
ANYWAY,i know where i'm sitting next monday(!)
hope it's a good fengshui place,
( I BET BATWOMAN IS LAUGHING MADLY RIGHT NOW! )
best thing is,NO AIRCON there(!)
:D
& i'm 47.
rah.
have to rewrite compo later.
LUCKILY never kena scolded by YELAO so badly(;
anyway,i run out of things to write,SERIOUSLY.
cause my life now is INTENSIVE CHEENAAAAA.
Rawr.
Btw,me got my baby already.wink*
happy can,rah.
off now.
BYE/
P/S: BRIDGING TIMETABLE OUT(!)(!)
PP/S: GOING NP ON DK WHEN,going Business&Tech i think-.-
( FORGET WHAT I CHOOSE ALDY )

I have decided,
that long wait,that long ride.
I have start to be more independent already.
sometimes,thinking back.
Why can't I grit my teeth harder and go thru?

BOF.

Time check:5.02am
few more mintues to go before i'm off to sleep.
am watching Boys Over Flower(!)
NO TIMEEEE,
chi intensive this week,damn.
AM COLLECTING MY BABY LATER:D
BYE
:D

Stay strong.

Boring day.
almost late for school,wonderful.
nothing exciting.
Next week is Chi intensive,
when you eat,sleep,shit,dream,breathe chinese,ewk.
anyway,hope i survive next week can,damn.
AM OFF.
need to catch beauty sleep(!)
BTW,POA KILLED ME TODAY.
SCREWED.
I SAW the paper & totally went bwg,wonderful indeed.
BYE.

Thing to look forward:
-Sakae with bbei.
-New spec.
-Chanel stud(!)(!)
TUESDAY COME QUICK(!)(!)
-Chi O to be over.

TANNING+EATSTUD.

V. random title.
i went tanning yesterday with M_ _ _ _ _. yesterday/
I swear,it's killing smbbei,lols.
i turned red instead of black,wtfwtf(!)
anyway,NO POA test today.
changed to tml,happy or what(:
ANYWAY,missnurul is back today.
:D
THE BEST THING OF ALL,
i just ordered my Chanel Ear Stud,

Is mine,babyyyyyyy:D
still finding this Dior ribonnette(!)
I found the awesome web which sell great+pretty accessories<:
WHY MY SUMYAT AUNTIE NOT HERE TODAY(?!)