The clock said 12.48am

I never felt so hurt,lost,guilty.
I tossed and turned on bed for an hour.
I never cry so hard and long,
trying to cover myself with pillow to soften my sobs
but just when I finally stop myself,
& wished that tomorrow will be better.
The message I dread the most came
I just burst into tears without knowing.
Cause I just can't take it anymore,no matter how much I tried to.
Do you know how much effort I tried?
Do you know how much will I finally decided to do that?
Do you know how much I don't wish to do that?
Do you know that not only you're hurt,but me too?
Do you know that,even if I could,I don't want to.
I don't feel better either.
I know how much it hurt when someone you like don't like you.
I know how much it hurt when you're given false hopes,
I just don't wish to hurt you that badly. .
But,I guessed I did.
I seriously don't wish to hurt you like how I did to him.
All of a sudden, I felt I was a murderer.
For killing you,you,you,you.
I know no matter what I said now was meaningless.
No matter how much sorry I said was meaningless.
No matter what I do now will be meaningless.
All I wanted now was to get free from here,
get free from everything.
I don't wish to let all this shits that piled affect my mood,
but it just did.
It is fuckingly sickening when not only one problem affect you,
but multiples.
ALL.IN.A.TIME
Attacking me one after another,
no matter how much I wanted to avoid.
TELL ME,how can I still remain yet so strong?
Human and human relationship are alway confusing.
All the things that happened,beside this.
_ & _ made me felt weak over,
left me hopeless and helpless.
Make me feel like giving up on everything.
Make me feel like running and escaping from all this.
It made me sick really.
Now,not only you suffered,but me too.
Ain't you happy?

Last paper tomorrow,wish me luck.
Bye world.

Sometimes,truth is just so cruel.

Why is this feeling so famaliar?

On Hiatus.
I won't be blogging here anymore.
This shall be my last post here.
All the rest will be locked up somewhere from people.
I need time to recover,
need time to heal,
need time to get me running,
need time to be back to where I am,
need time to make me stronger,
need time to let everything go.
Because this time round,
I'm really want to forget everything

What are tears,
Something to show that you're hurted.
Tell me,what to do to stop them.
Tell me.